WARNING
(adapted for the 21st Century)
(apologies to Jenny Joseph and Anne Parris)
When I am an old woman I shall wear a red thong
with purple ties at the sides, to keep the damn
thing on.
And my hair will be long and professionally dyed
and I’ll drive my shiny red sports car with gusto
and pride!
I’ll spend my money on frappuccinos and lacy red bras
And wear high-heeled boots, and travel afar.
I’ll meet others like me, young at heart and so fine
We’ll wear smart purple outfits, red hats and drink
wine!
And when Christmas comes we’ll go out on the town
To celebrate with each other, the joys we have found
The friendships we’ve made and the fun we have had
And look back on a year that’s been hectic and mad!
The Red Hat Society has given me much
In a busy life that needed
- just an “extra touch”.
-written by Queen Quistabella-
A Poem from Scarlett –
Sister Shepherdess – MaureenA
to celebrate our 5th Birthday!
ODE TO RED HATTERS
“The time has come” the walrus
said –
But what would he know about it?
An insight into ladies minds -
I very much would doubt it
So let’s start again
Hit the road gals - keep up, keep fit
No matter what the weather
We’ll show those guys a thing or two
We’ll outwit them hell for leather!
We’ve had some super pub-crawls
Even made the local rag
Next time we must play “ladies”
I needn’t be a drag
We’ll be dining out in elegance
And acting quite “refined”
We Red Hatters are so versatile
We mix well with all mankind
A poet put it very well. She
said when she was older,
She wouldn't be so meek and mild. She threatened to
get bolder.
She'd put a red hat on her head, and purple on her
shoulder.
She'd make her life a warmer place, her golden years
much golder.
We read that poem, all
of us, and grasp what she is saying.
We do not need to sit and knit, although we all are
graying.
We think about what we can do. Our plans we have been
laying.
Instead of working all the time, we'll be out
somewhere playing.
We take her colors to
our hearts, and then we all go shopping,
for purple clothes and hats of red, with giant brims
a-flopping.
We're tired of working all the time, and staying home
and mopping,
We order pies and chocolate fudge, and rich desserts
with topping.
We crown ourselves as
duchesses and countesses and queens.
We prove that playing dress-up isn't just for
Halloween.
We drape ourselves in jewels, feathers, boas and
sateen.
We see ourselves on television and in magazines.
We laugh, we cry, we hug
a lot. We keep each other strong.
When one of us goes out for fun, the rest all go
along.
We gad about, we lunch and munch, in one big happy
throng.
We've found the place where we fit in, the place we
all belong.
-written
by Sue Ellen Cooper-
My dress is kinda' purple
My hat is 'flamin' red
It covers up the grey hairs
Now sprouting from my head
I know I look distinguished
And my clothes are oh so 'loud'
But I'm a member of the 'Red Hat Brigade'
And of that......I'm very proud!
Marjorie Ramsay 2008
My hat I wear with
great aplomb
It makes me feel much bolder
For though I've passed the '50' mark
I don't feel any older
Than when I was a sweet young thing
Just barely out of my teens
And wearing out my platform shoes
And wide bell bottom jeans
But now I have a purple frock
It really is a shocker
All finished off with 'Big Red Hat'
With ostrich feather topper
I know the colours really clash
To me, it does not matter
I'm proud to say, I'm in the club
I'm a 50 plus 'Red Hatter'
Marjorie
Ramsay 2008
The Elderly Irish Virgin!
In a tiny village on the Irish coast lived an old
lady, a virgin and very proud of it.
Sensing that her final days were rapidly approaching,
and desiring to make sure everything was in proper
order when she dies, she went to the town's undertaker
(who also happened to be the local postal clerk) to
make proper 'final' arrangements. As a last wish, she
informed the
undertaker that she wanted the following inscription
engraved on her tombstone:
'BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED AS A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN'
Not long after, the old maid died peacefully. A few
days after the funeral, as the undertaker-- postal
clerk went to prepare the tombstone that the lady had
requested, it became quite apparent that the tombstone
that she had selected was much too small for the
wording that she had chosen He thought long and hard
about how he could fulfil the old maid's final
request, considering the very limited space available
on the small piece of stone.
For days, he agonized over the dilemma. But finally
his experience as a postal worker allowed him to come
up with what he thought was the appropriate solution
to the problem.
The virgin's tombstone was finally
completed and duly engraved, and it read as follows:
'RETURNED UNOPENED'
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